Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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