I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize
