Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
