you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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