we have officially lost it.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Please don't give away my fajitas
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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