Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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