Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
tell me about the fingering
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