VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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