So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
