it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
