omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
two words: eviction party
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Less talking, more tequila
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
