theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
