Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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