apparently the secret to your success is patron
she looked like the before picture.
only if we run a train.
done.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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