At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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