Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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