In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
