Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
