Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Randomize
