Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
