My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Randomize