It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
