how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
