I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
