I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
