I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
