I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
