we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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