I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
