Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
