my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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