I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
high people should be assigned attendants
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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