Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
