He is an equal opportunity slut.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
