the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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