dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
this is an emotional support booty call
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
