k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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