Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
