Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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