Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
