you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
