oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
