thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
