I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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