I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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