just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
