Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
