I'm eating all of the evidence.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
