After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
