The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
